Know Your Stars: CSI Style
by Nova Bucker
Summary: I'm the apprentice of the guy who tortures TV characters w insults yadda yadda yadda... Bwah! Hah! HAh! Sometimes I have this maniac side to myself! Man do I sound evil But who cares! R&R!
1. Chapter 1

Know Your Stars: CSI Style!

Disclaimer: I don't own 'Know Your Stars' or CSI, R&R! Please!

A/N: Sorry I just had a big urge to write this!

Key: **Bold** invisible me dialogue

Regular character dialogue

_Italic _ my thoughts

(-) actions

Part 1: Catherine Willows

**Know Your Stars…**

**Know Your Stars…**

**Know Your Stars…**

**Catherine Willows, she goes out with the guy from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre…**

Hey! He's a great guy don't judge him by his work!

Grissom: What!

What are you here for!

Grissom: Waahhhgggg!

What are you cryin' about?

Grissom: (Runs away)

**Wow… Catherine Willows, she broke Mr. Grissoms heart! Hah! Hah! Hah!**

What the!

**Ooooo… What do we have here? (flips pages in small room off screen) Catherine Willows, she has a big rash on her but!**

I do not!

**Yes you do you wrote it! Catherine Willows last year she made out with an Orangutan! **

Hey how do you-? No… Sara, you didn't-! Give her my very personal diary, did you-?

Sara: Bwah! Hah! Hah! Hah!

**Catherine Willows, she is afraid of turkeys.**

No I am not!

**Ooooo… Touchy. Wait, your name is Catherine Grillows sorry the show can't begin without Catherine Willows…**

But I am Catherine Willows!

**Sorry but my list says that your Catherine Grillows. Sorry I can't begin the show without Catherine Willows…**

I will tell you again. I. Am. Catherine. Willows.

**Catherine Grillows she doesn't know who she is. Man is she dumb if that's the case…**

Hey I'm not dumb!

(Camera fades out)

Hey! Come back! All those things you said are lies! Get back here!

**Now you know Catherine Willows, a CSI who goes out with the guy in the Texas chainsaw massacre, and has an unseemly rash on her but, makes out with orangutans, fears turkeys, and she doesn't know the horrible truth that her life is a complete lie! (Snickers)**

None of that is true! Come back here! Hey-! What do ya mean by 'my life is a lie'? Get back here!

**A/N: Bwah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Next victim is Gil Grissom! Bwah! Hah! Hah! Hah!**


	2. Greg Sanders

Know Your Stars: CSI Style!

Disclaimer: I don't one Know Your Stars or the CSI characters (Sobs) Wish I did though…

A/N: Sorry I haven't written in a while… I'm tryin' to get out of my major writers block… R&R!

Chapter Two: Greg Sanders

Me: Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…

_Camera zooms in on Greg's face…_

Me: Greg Sanders, he picks his nose in the hall closet at work.

Greg S: I do not!

Me: Yes you do, it even says so in your diary. Right here on page twenty-five…

Greg S: What?! How'd you-?

Me: Oh lookee here… 'Dear Diary I have a secret. I was crowned King of the Eggplants today at the Eggplant Fair. And guess what? I get to wear an eggplant suit! I am so happy!'

Greg S: I never went to an eggplant festival! That's not even my diary!

Me: Are you admitting that you keep a diary then? (Smiles)

Greg S: NO!!! I mean uh… I'm just saying that I never went to your imaginary Eggplant Festival! Now gimme back my journal you freak!

Me: Oh yeah, say that to a person who can reveal your innermost secrets at ay given time, let's go on shall we?

Greg S: You wouldn't dare.

Me: Oh, would I? Page one hundred and fifty-one, dear diary I have a crush on Elvis, who happens to be dead. Did I mention that I stuck my head into the toilet this morning?! It was fun! Now I know why dogs enjoy it so much, it is so good! Yummy!

Greg S: Gah! No! I do not do that! Not the toilet! Aaauuuggghhh!

Me: Now you know, Greg Sanders, the Eggplant King who drinks out of the toilet and has a HUGE crush on Elvis. (The music, 'You Ain't Nothin' But a Hound Dog' begins to play')

Greg S: I'm gonna get yooooouuuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Urk! (has a seizure) Gah! (twists and contorts into… drum roll…a mariachi band person, oh it looks angry) Raaagggghhh! Brains!

Mariachi Zombie Army: Brains… Bra-… inzzzaaaaa…

Me: Oh great not again. I already vanquished these guys before the last show and Greg just turned into one of them. Well now I gotta go get my anti-mariachi zombie kit from the hall closet. I lose too many angry guest stars that way, now I have to get some fill in's…

A/N: Well on account of mariachi zombie armies hounding at my door. I have to get another star from a completely different series and/or movie, because I have to slay the zombies for a while. Oh and I finally got this thing updated! I can hardly believe it myself… Anyways blame the mariachi zombies for the hold-up I had to slay them then give their spirits a good scolding and when they got mad the put me in the netherworld. It took me four weeks to get outta that place! Sheesh! I'll update ASAIC! (translation: as soon as I can)


End file.
